Dementia starting in the late stage of COPD?

Welcome to SupportGroups.com I'm hopeful you'll find some comfort here talking things through with all of us friend & especially finding some way to receive some much needed relief & an outside support system eventually to help you through caretaking w/your mom. Is your family assisting you w/taking rotating turns w/your moms care?

Keep talking with us Jammie we're listening to you your not alone & I'm a long term smoker so you can teach me some things along the way as you discuss your experiences.

All my strengths.

April

First off, I would like to say how nice it is to hear someone say I am not alone. Brings tears to my eyes. I do not live with my mother because I am attending University. She lives an hour from me where I grew up with my father. I visit when I'm feeling strong enough emotionally to be around her and my father. My parents are both alcoholics. My mother stopped about a year ago or at least we hid it from her when we couldn't take it affecting her memory so much. My father takes care of her full time, of course he has 10 beers in him so I guess that's his way of "handling" it. While I disapprove of this completely. But putting her in a nursing home is too expensive. She has nurses come to the apartment a couple times a week so I think she likes the company. I'd say I'm coping with loosing my mother but also, while this might sound cruel, having a lot of anger toward her for smoking her whole life and abusing alcohol. If she had not smoked her whole life and consumed alcohol abusively, I feel she may not have this illness and she may still have her memory. So I'm angry and sad. I tried speaking with a councilor for a year but it got to be too much with my school and work life. I was exhausted. So I thought to get on here. Sorry so long. It poured out tonight. Thanks again for the support. It really means a lot.

Jammie

Jammie you are definitely not alone.

My mother wanted to die with a cigarette in her hand. She left us at age 78 from a stroke. For this reason I understand you anger. Anger only hurts you and does nothing to help the patient. Alcohol is another addition that is hard to overcome and needs professional help to overcome. Please consult her doctors and see what choices there are to help your mother. She does need help, lots of love and smiles.

As for your father he does have a burden in caring for you mother but drinking is a choice. Perhaps the beer relaxes him and he doesn't think of it as being addictive. He needs regular breaks to get out and have no responsibilities. If your mother can qualify for Hospice care then they will assign someone to visit with your mother just to keep her company and wait on her whether it's food or water. Medications will have to be given by nurses.

As for her memory on her bad days talk to her about things in the past--perhaps something funny she would remember about you growing up.

You have a busy life girl. Thank you for being the daughter that cares. You will never regret one day that you spend with your parents. Stay cool, happy and God Bless.